Savannah mother turns grief into support group after son’s 2011 killing

SAVANNAH, Ga. (WTOC) - Fifteen years after losing her only son to gun violence, Savannah mother Barbara O’Neal said she continues to turn her grief into action by supporting other parents who are also grieving.

O’Neal, the founder of Mothers of Murdered Sons in Savannah, said she started the organization about seven months after her son, Alan Dwayne O’Neal, was killed in 2011. She said he was 20 years old.

“He was always so happy,” O’Neal said. “He was the kind of person who could walk into a room, own the room, and have everybody laughing.”

Family members said Alan O’Neal loved spending time with those closest to him.

“He used to pick me up, take me to the bus stop, and have me riding around with him,” a family member said. “He just really loved his family, especially his nieces and nephews.”

O’Neal said her family will never forget June 21, 2011.

O’Neal said she got a knock at her door and learned her son had been shot. He later died, she said. O’Neal said she had seen him only a short time before it happened.

“Granted, he had just left the house and said he’d be right back,” O’Neal said. “And his right back is never coming back to me again.”

O’Neal said the pain has not gone away.

“I just want people to know, 15 years later, it still hurts,” she said.

Group offers support to grieving parents

In the months after her son’s death, O’Neal said she struggled with overwhelming grief and at times felt like giving up. She said her faith led her to create a support group for other parents.

That’s when she founded Mothers of Murdered Sons in Savannah, a group dedicated to helping parents navigate the pain of losing a child to violence.

“God said I must live and not die. I had to help other mothers out,” O’Neal said. “I had to be there for other mothers and let them know they can make it.”

O’Neal said the group’s Facebook page now has nearly 10,000 followers. She said parents from across the Southeast reach out for support, encouragement and someone who understands their grief.

“Reaching out to mothers to let them know with us working together, loving on each other, supporting each other, being there for each other, we can make it,” O’Neal said.

One of those parents is Savannah City Council Alderwoman Linda Wilder-Bryan, who also lost a son to gun violence.

O’Neal said helping others has aided her in her own healing, but she still lives with the loss.

“I’ve learned to cope with it, but the pain never goes away,” she said.

O’Neal said she hopes more people will think twice before turning to violence and understand the lasting impact it has on families and communities.

Levi Marshall is serving a life sentence in connection with Alan O’Neal’s murder.