Love, Release, Repeat: A guide on how to thrive while parenting

SAVANNAH, Ga. (WTOC) - Pastor Ricky Temple of Overcoming by Faith Church joined us on Welcome to Our Community to share candid, compassionate parenting advice drawn from decades of experience.

With grown-up children and grandchildren of his own, he offers a clear and humane message: love your child and love yourself, too.

Parenting is a series of seasons. Parenting changes. Babies become children, children become teens, teens become adults — and the job of a parent shifts at every stage. Pastor Ricky reminds caregivers that holding on too tightly or living solely through a child sets everyone up for pain.

“If you live for your kids and you live through your kids, I think that’s a mistake,” he says. “I live for Ricky. And then I love my kids. I love them better when I love me first.”

By keeping an identity beyond parenting, friendships, a marriage, personal interests ,parents bring more stability and emotional resources to their children.

Train, teach, release.

Pastor Ricky frames parenting as a clear three-part mission: train, teach, and release. Love, he says, is not just embracing; it is also releasing. Trying to shield children from every discomfort or to keep them perpetually small prevents them from building resilience and independence.

Healthy parenting includes boundaries and age-appropriate responsibilities. It also includes protecting other relationships, especially your marriage, by not allowing parenting to consume your whole life. That balance protects both parents and children as everyone grows through their seasons.

Switch places: listen before you command

One of the most powerful shifts Pastor Ricky recommends is learning to “switch places” with your child.

He shared a revealing story from early in his parenting: his son locked himself in a department store dressing room and later told people he was afraid his father would beat him.

Pastor Ricky was embarrassed to hear the claim but the moment taught him to try seeing the world from his child’s perspective.

Before issuing a list of tasks or corrections, ask simple, curious questions: How was your day? What happened at school? What made you feel proud or upset? Small things like asking a child to name the color of their day (red, yellow, green) — give children vocabulary for emotions and let them know they are heard. Discipline becomes more effective when a child first feels seen and understood.

When you’re at the end of your rope, don’t go it alone

Parenting can be isolating, and many caregivers reach a breaking point without knowing where to turn. Pastor Ricky emphasizes the importance of community supports: grandparents, older relatives, trusted friends, faith leaders, and local parenting groups.

“Good family structures help support the up-and-coming parents,” he says. Those relationships were meant to share the load — and they still matter.

If family supports aren’t available, seek community programs, counseling, or parent groups. Even short, restorative breaks — a few hours with a trusted friend or relative — can restore perspective and patience. There is no shame in asking for help when parenting feels overwhelming.

Simple, daily habits that matter Pastor Ricky champions small, consistent acts of care more than grand gestures. He often sends a brief message to his children: “I love you every day.” That daily reassurance, he says, goes a long way.

Practical tips:

• Love yourself first: maintain identity, relationships, and personal time outside of parenting.
• Switch places: ask about your child’s day before giving instructions.
• Set clear boundaries and age-appropriate tasks.
• Allow “mess-up points”: admit mistakes, model humility, and grow together.
• Cultivate supportive relationships: grandparents, mentors, friends, and community resources.
• Use short, consistent reminders of care — a daily “I love you” can be powerful.

Respect children as people

A moment that stayed with Pastor Ricky was when his wife told him, simply, “kids have rights.” It’s a reminder that children are people — small, yes, but still people with feelings, dignity, and inner lives that deserve respect. Caring about a child’s happiness and emotional state is as important as caring about behavior.

A long view of parenting

Parenting rarely offers clean answers. The most useful compass is a combination of humility, curiosity, and consistency. Love your child, teach them well, listen deeply, and get them ready to live their own life. When parents nurture both their children and themselves, the whole family is healthier and more resilient.